Five, now Ten, Points for Effective Parenting

By COGwriter

There are many books on child rearing (here is a free pdf one titled The Plain Truth About Child Rearing).

You can, if you will do things God's way, become a more successful parent. This article originally only had what it called 'five simple rules.' Some others have been added.

Anywa, this article is intended to improve your success, your child's life, your life, your eternity, and your child's eternity.

When I was younger, I sometimes volunteered to look after some children after church services. Some of the parents were very permissive and some were excessively strict. Actually, the fact that some of their children needed to be watched as extensively as I often had to do, suggested to me that perhaps they were not being raised correctly. And none of those that come immediately to mind when I did this, either the parents or the children, actually stayed in the Church of God.

Despite sermons and books, and even what is in this article, parenting is something that is often learned on the job. You often have to deal with situations that you had not expected. This short article is not going to deal with all aspects of child rearing, but hopefully will give you scriptures and other information follow that will help you become a better and more effective parent.

You can improve the ochances of your child being successful and you being a successful parent.

Five Simple Rules for Effective Parenting

Here are original five simple rules to be an effective parent that were in this article:

  1. First, spend time with your children.
  2. Second, do not lie to them--ever.
  3. Third, do not live like a hypocrite.
  4. Fourth, you need to teach children about God and His laws (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), which also gives them boundaries.
  5. And fifth, do not be afraid to provide proper discipline.

Each of the five will be elaborated briefly in this article. With five additional ones as an added bonus:

  1. Consider influence from parents, friends, and social media.
  2. A two-parent household is normally better than one.
  3. Pray, be patient, and trust God.
  4. Give your children prophetic hope.
  5. Yes, they can have hopes and dreams.

Assure your children they can lead a successful life. You can increase the chances of your children being succcessful if you strive to raise them God's way.

Rule #1 Spend Time with Your Children

When children are first born, they demand a lot of time. However, as they get older, they demand a lot less. But just because they demand less, that does not mean that you should ignore them. You should spend time with them. Time eating, time working with them, time discussing their education, time doing fun activities with them, time in church with them, time teaching them, and simply time with them. God says to do that:

6 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)

If you spend time with your children, including when they are teenagers, they will be more comfortable with you and more inclined to communicate with you as well as to actually want to spend time with you. And they will probably have a much better relationship with you once they are old enough to be out on their own.

Spending time with them includes listening to them.

Play with your children.

Consider the following:

18 It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor (Ecclesiastes 5:18) 

Your children are part of your labor and should be enjoyed with you.

Have fun with your children--not just what you find fun, but mainly what they find fun. If you want them to have fond memories of you when they are older, you need to make those fun memories of them (and/or your grandchildren) when you can.

That does NOT mean that you have to do everything that they suggest or want, but remember to at least consider their perspective on entertainment and other matters.

For teens, one thing to ask them about, for example, is how do they think you should discipline them when they misbehave. If they offer something helpful, that can reduce the likelihood of provoking wrath, resentfulness, or bitterness towards you as a parent.

Parents and children need to heed the following:

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3 "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth."

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4)

Yes, if your children will honor you and keep God's commandments it will go better with them. That is a promise to children.

Note also that the above says children are to obey their parents in the Lord and to be taught. That does not mean to intentionally dishonor any parent that is not a true believer. It means that children are not to obey if parents tell them to do something contrary to the word of God.

Also, the more time you spend with them, the likely the less time they will spend online utilizing social media.

Speaking of age, when a child is born it spends much of its life in contact with its mother.

However, as the child gets older, the child does not need the parents as often.

Yet, you need to spend more time with your children than the minimum of providing them the basics like food.

Spending time with them will help you build better relationships as well as trust.

The time to spend a lot time with you children is when they still live with you.

While we still spend time with our sons that have long ago moved out, there is only so much time you spend with people you do not always live with.

So, yes, spend time with your children when they are young.

Speaking of age again, but in a different way, if you are a parent, that also does not mean that you pay no attention to your own parents. The Bible teaches:

22 Listen to your father who begot you,
And do not despise your mother when she is old. (Proverbs 23:22)

So, yes, you should honor your parents as long as they live--though you do not have to obey everything they say or suggest after you have moved out of their household.

Rule #2 Do Not Lie to Your Children

Notice the fifth commandment:

12 Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. (Exodus 20:12)

While that is a command for children, it also supports the idea that parents are to be honorable.

One way to do that is to always tell them the truth.

Do not lie to your children--ever. This includes not lying about Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or anything else. This does not mean that you have to tell them everything about your personal life that they ask, but it does mean that if you always tell them the truth you will be more honorable and trustworthy in their eyes. And they will not tend to forget that.

Remember, one of the Ten Commandments is: "Honor your father and your mother" (Exodus 20:12) and liars are not honorable. Notice something Jesus said about liars:

44 You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. (John 8:44)

Also notice:

8...all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death. (Revelation 21:8)

Be an honorable parent. Do not be a liar.

Rule #3 Do Not Live as a Hypocrite

There are people who live one way in public and another in their private life. Children can see that, and should not be raised with that type of deceit. The same group of people that Jesus referred to as liars in John 8:44, He also often called hypocrites:

7 Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:

8 "These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
9 And in vain they worship Me...(Matthew 15:7-9)

25 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. 26 Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.

27 "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. 28 Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. (Matthew 23:25-28)

Parents, you need to be really converted (see also Just What Do You Mean Conversion?), this is not a game (see also False Conversion).

According to a study by atheists, parental hypocrisy is one of the factors that increases atheists:

September 7, 2018

A new study published in the Religion, Brain and Behavior Journal explored the idea that behavioral models displayed by religious parents are often what crafts their child’s future beliefs.

Joseph Langston, researcher at the Atheist Research Collaborative, shared that he was interested in this specific topic because his main focus of research is how and why people choose to become atheists.

“At the beginning of this project, the thought process was that perhaps a growing number of people are becoming non-believers because belief was not modeled to them in any appreciable or robust way during their upbringing,” Langston shared with PsyPost, but added that the end result of the study surprised him.

Researchers gathered over 5,000 atheists and asked them two questions: How old were they when they gave up on their religion, and how committed were their parents in their own faith? The study found that when parents choose to be sincere and dedicated in their beliefs in front of their children, the children later delay their decision to resort to atheism at a later age. But when parents are insincere and unfaithful, their offspring have a more difficult time believing their religion to hold truth.

Langston shares three main takeaways from this particular study: “First, the extent to which parents faithfully model their own religious beliefs to their children, works in tandem with other processes to produce unique trajectories of the timing at which one becomes an atheist: being allowed greater religious choice seems to drive the age of atheism down, but so do elevated levels of religious conflict.”

Second, people should remember that parents’ religious behavior is not always directly linked to their offspring’s decision to choose atheism. https://relevantmagazine.com/life5/study-those-raised-by-religious-hypocrites-turn-to-atheism-later-in-life/

Notice also something from Nick Cady:

Interestingly, in a poll I took earlier this year, in which I asked the question: “What are the biggest hurdles that people have when it comes to embracing Christianity?”, the number one response I got was: “Hypocrisy”. This aligns with the results of a 2007 Barna research project, in which they asked people why they rejected Christianity.

It should be remembered, that Jesus himself took great issue with religious hypocrisy; he neither tolerated it, nor remained silent about it. In fact, he said something so extreme, that if Jesus himself hadn’t said it, most people wouldn’t dare go as far as saying something like this:

If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.  (Matthew 18:6)

Clearly, hypocrisy is a big deal – both to God and to people. Children are perceptive, and they intuit the discrepancies in people’s words and their actions, the latter of which tend to reveal our true values and beliefs. ...

May God help us who call ourselves Christians to be sincere, humble, repentant and loving, while we hold onto very important convictions about the truth – in order that we might shine like lights in the world (see Philippians 2:14-15) https://nickcady.org/2018/09/07/parents-religious-hypocrisy-a-leading-factor-in-atheism/

Jesus said:

14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16)

Your life should shine as a Christian example to your children and grandchildren. Paul basically promoted the same concept:

14 Do all things without complaining and disputing, 15 that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain. (Philippians 2:14-15)

Yes, YOUR LIGHT should shine to your children without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation!

Remember too, that Bible also teaches, "And the hope of the hypocrite shall perish" (Job 8:13)--if you hope that your children will turn out well, then try not to live as a hypocrite.

Rule # 4 Teach Your Children about God and His Laws

The Bible is clear that parents are supposed to spend a lot of time with their children. And teaching children the laws of God. This gives children both proper rules and practical boundaries.

Here are a couple of scriptures related to that:

4 "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

6 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)

Notice that you are to teach your children to love God. There is also another related commandment:

39 And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 22:39)

31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. (Luke 6:31)

Children who love God and properly love their neighbor are much less likely to get involved in certain inappropriate behaviors.

One of you goals as a parent is to prepare your child to be able to successfully live their own life after they leave your home.

God's plan is you to be a success and also for your offspring. Malachi 2:15 states that God wants godly offspring.

You also should want godly offspring.

Properly teaching your children is something you as a parent can do related to t he production of godly offspring.

The Bible also ties in living God's way and teaching your children and your grandchildren:

9 Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren (Deuteronomy 4:9).

You are to teach your children and grandchildren diligently. Notice something from the Apostle Peter:

15 Honor Christ and let him be the Lord of your life. Always be ready to give an answer when someone asks you about your hope. (1 Peter 3:15, CEV)

So, you are to be a proper Christian example--hence you are not to be a hypocrite--plus you are to always be ready to give an answer on the faith to anyone--and in particular your children and grandchildren--who may ask you.

If you think you do not know enough to teach about God, His laws, and His plan, and this is not possible for you as a parent to do this, consider something that the Apostle Paul admonished:

15 Diligently study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of the truth; (2 Timothy 2:15, AFV)

Are you doing that?

Through Bible study, prayer, fasting, paying attention to sermons and sermonettes, and studying church literature, you should be.

And if you are not, then you need to be a bit more diligent about it.

Additionally, explain why God created anything to your child.

As CCOG members should realize, God created what He did so that eternity would be better.

Also, tell your child why God created them personally.

Which as CCOG members should realize, is for them to be able to give love in a unique way, to make eternity better for themself and everyone else. This unique way based on all that your child experiences in this life, good and bad. Tell your child that the better he or she behaves and truly believes God in this life, the better his or her eternity will be.

You can also tell your child that every other person who has ever lived, if he or she will ultimately yield to God, each of them will make eternity better for your child. Yes, billions upon billions of spirit beings in the eternal Kingdom of God will make the universe better for each and every member of God's family.

That is something that your child should know.

Rule #5 Do Not be Afraid of Proper Discipline

Remember you are your child's parent. And while that does not mean that you also cannot be a friend (and spending a lot of time with them helps on the friendship side), government authorities and the Bible expect you to provide proper discipline (though government authorities do not always understand how that should be provided, so caution is advised--cf. Amos 5:13).

The Bible teaches:

13 Don't fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them. (Proverbs 23:13, New Living Translation, NLT)

10 Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way, And he who hates correction will die. (Proverbs 15:10)

15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. (Proverbs 29:15)

17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul. (Proverbs 29:17)

Most children should not need much in the way of "harsh" discipline. And in modern society, be cautious about the wisdom of spanking (legally it is not allowed to various counties). But children should have rules and boundaries and be subject to discipline if they violate those rules and boundaries.

Notice also:

18 Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction. (Proverbs 19:18)

Yes, the time is likely to come when your child will be too old to respond to various forms of discipline that may have worked when younger. Do not withhold proper discipline as that can lead to your child's destruction.

Furthermore, the Bible teaches:

11 Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil. (Ecclesiastes 8:11)

So, do not wait weeks, months, or years before discipling your child for something, unless you just learned of it recently.

Usually, but not always (see point 7), it is best to give the punishment soon after the offense is known--or at least bring the idea of punishment up to deal with later. Particularly if the offense is in a public place.

There are many ways to provide discipline. Talking with them, removing or restricting privileges, as well as my favorite, giving children additional work to do. Having children pull weeds was one of my favorite forms of disciplinary punishment. Also, as they get older, properly raised children normally will respond to simply expressing your disappoint in them as sufficient discipline.

Sometimes proper discipline simply means saying "No!"

That said, while you need to be mindful of laws and your environment, do not believe that many who come across as experts or authorities on child-rearing are truly experts or no what is best for a child of a real Christian.

Notice the following which starts off with a lie many false experts have used related to the transgender agenda:

New Study Debunks “Trans” Theory: “Transitioning” Kids Does NOT Save Lives

February 24, 2024

“Would you rather have a living son or dead daughter?” This question, often asked marketing-style of parents whose child desires so-called gender reassignment procedures, is not just unethical, says the leader of a groundbreaking new study on sexually confused youths.

It is also, says psychiatrist Dr. Riittakerttu Kaltiala, “not based on facts.”

For in reality, administering sexual-distortion treatments (SDTs, aka “gender-reassignment” treatments) does not lower sexually confused youths’ suicide rate.

This is not just because you can’t actually changes sexes, but only become a simulacrum of the opposite one. It’s also because any tendency toward suicide — and sexually confused youths’ suicide rate is only marginally higher than that of average-age mates — is caused by their having psychiatric issues, and not necessarily their sexual confusion, per se.

Making these findings even more compelling is that Dr. Kaltiala actually helped pioneer Made-up Sexual Status (MUSS, aka “transgender”) “medicine” in Finland, but looked at its results and finally concluded that such treatments were not beneficial.

Website Gender Clinic News reports on new study:

The landmark research from Finland, an international leader in the shift away from medicalised gender change, found that suicide risk in a large group of adolescents was predicted by the psychiatric problems that often accompany gender distress, not by the gender distress itself.

Dramatic claims of the risk of attempted suicide among trans-identifying youth are typically based on low-quality anonymous online self-report surveys with no follow-up checks, potential exaggeration driven by a constant “transition or suicide” narrative, and “convenience samples” unlikely to be representative.

The new Finnish study vindicates that country’s 2020 adoption of a more cautious treatment policy which first targets psychiatric, social and educational problems among gender-distressed youth before any assumption of a stable trans identity justifying “experimental” affirmation with hormones or surgery.

“It is of utmost importance to identify and appropriately treat mental disorders in adolescents experiencing gender dysphoria to prevent suicide; in addition, health policies need to ensure that accurate information is provided to professionals along these lines,” the researchers say in their BMJ Mental Health paper.

As for the underlying “psychiatric problems” factor with MUSS youths, alarms about it have been sounded before. Consider ex-MUSS clinic worker and whistleblower Jamie Reed, who describes herself as a “queer” woman married to a “transman” and “politically to the left of Bernie Sanders.”

“The girls who came to us [at the clinic] had many comorbidities: depression, anxiety, ADHD, eating disorders, obesity,” she wrote last year at The Free Press. “Many were diagnosed with autism, or had autism-like symptoms. A report last year on a British pediatric transgender center found that about one-third of the patients referred there were on the autism spectrum.” https://thenewamerican.com/us/culture/new-study-debunks-trans-theory-transitioning-kids-does-not-save-lives/

So-called gender affirming treatments are not good.

Last summer, LifeSite News posted the following:

New transgender study shows painful, long-lasting side effects of sex-change surgeries

July 28, 2023

A new study on the side effects of transgender sex change surgeries has revealed, once again, that we are currently in the midst of the greatest medical scandal of the past several centuries. Conducted by researchers at the University of Florida and the health non-profit Brooks Rehabilitation, the study found that 81% of those who had undergone sex change surgeries in the past five years reported experiencing pain simply from normal movement in the weeks and months that followed — and that many other side effects are manifesting themselves as well.

This comes as no surprise to those of us who have been listening to the testimony of both de-transitioners such as Chloe Cole as well as others who have gone under the knife such as Scott Newgent (who described horrifying post-op experiences on my podcast recently). Dr. Meryl Alappattu, a physiotherapy professor at the University of Florida, spoke about her provisional findings in a private online workshop reported on by the Daily Mail. The full report will be released later in 2023, and the reported findings are horrifying. The study found that those who got sex change surgeries experienced bladder problems, pain during intercourse, and other significant issues. …

That those who go on cross-sex hormones and puberty blockers at a young age are likely to be incapable of experiencing “any sort of sexual pleasure as an adult,” as well as eliminating natural fertility. https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/new-transgender-study-shows-painful-long-lasting-side-effects-of-sex-change-surgeries/?utm_source=top_news&utm_campaign=usa

As it turned out, YouTube temporarily suspended our account after we put together the following video related to the above on our Bible News Prophecy channel:

14:35

New Transgender Study

A new study on the side effects of transgender sex change surgeries was conducted by researchers at the University of Florida and the health non-profit Brooks Rehabilitation. The study found that 81% of those who had undergone sex change surgeries in the past five years reported experiencing pain simply from normal movement in the weeks and months that followed — and that many other side effects are manifesting themselves as well. How do Russia and the USA handle the transgender issue? What does the Bible say? What does science show? Does the Bible warn about children being oppressors and leaders causing people to err? Are God’s people supposed to, “Tell My people their transgression, And the house of Jacob their sins” (Isaiah 58:1)? Dr. Thiel and Steve Dupuie go over these topics.

Here is a link to our video: New Transgender Study.

Upon appeal, YouTube restated our account and put the above video back on.

But because of YouTube, Google, and other censors, many do not realize the horrible truths of the destruction and misery that transgender agenda causes.

Let me add that I read reports of males who had their genitals removed and replaced with constructed vaginas and were surprised and disappointed that their libido was basically gone. Well, history has shown that castration does that, so that is something all should have known for a very long time. Gender mutilization is horrible and for children is certainly child abuse.

Yet, the American Association of Pediatrics has asserted "withholding GAC {gender-affirming care} is harmful to children and amounts to state-sanctioned medical neglect and emotional abuse" (https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/153/1/e2023064292/196236/Prohibition-of-Gender-Affirming-Care-as-a-Form-of?redirectedFrom=fulltext).

Also, notice the following related to the State of Illinois:

23 February 2024

A bill introduced in the Illinois House of Representatives would legally define it as ‘child abuse’ for parents to object to gender transitioning of their children by way of puberty blocking, cross sex hormones or surgery.

The legislation, Bill 4876, introduced earlier this month, would also protect doctors from liability should they decide to prescribe those treatments to children who have not gotten parental consent.

The legislation would also allow for the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) to take children away from their parents for opposing such procedures. https://modernity.news/2024/02/23/illinois-bill-wants-make-it-child-abuse-for-parents-to-object-to-gender-transitioning-of-kids/

That is horrible.

The Apostle Paul warned:

1 But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. (2 Timothy 3:1-8)

13 But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, (2 Timothy 3:13-14)

We are seeing this in many areas as well as with raising children.

Christians must believe the word of God over those who have a form of expertise, but who deny God's power and teach in opposition to His ways.

That said, we have been warning against the transgender agenda for a long time. Here is something we put out back in 2015:


17:20

Transgender ‘Woe to those who call evil good’

What is ‘transgender’? Is it being promoted by government leaders in the USA? Can you lose your job if you refuse to refer to a girl as a boy or federal funding if you do not treat a boy as if he is actually a girl? Have Jewish and Protestant leaders endorsed it? Is it false witness for pastors to teach against it? What does any of this have to do with the Kingdom of God? What does the Bible teach about cross-dressing or being effeminate? What should parents do? Is the transgender agenda dangerous?

Here is a link to our video: Transgender ‘Woe to those who call evil good’.

In early 2023, we put out the following:

15:27

Olympics and Biology

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) had a report published in the ‘British Medical Journal’ that claimed, ” No athlete should be precluded from competing or excluded from the competition on the exclusive ground of an unverified, alleged or perceived unfair competitive advantage due to their sex variations, physical appearance and/or transgender status.” Does that IOC position make biological sense? Do biological males have significant advantages in many sports? Why do we not hear of many females who want to compete against males? What are some of the biological advantages that males have compared to females when it comes to sports? Have Olympians objected to the inclusion of those asserting that they are transgendered? Does the Bible have comments that are relevant on these matters? Steve Dupuie and Dr. Thiel go over some of these issues.

Here is a link to our video: Olympics and Biology.

The transgender agenda does not only hurt the so-called transgendered, it also hurts others.

Female sports are being badly hurt by males claiming to be females. Males have a biological advantage in most sports making it so mediocre males can beat the best females in many sports. This is discouraging to the female athletes as well as as women in general.

Additionally, having males compete as females can be dangerous as well. Earlier this month, a basketball coach forfeited a game after three of his female players were injured by a male claiming to be female on the opposing team.

That said, transgenderism is not good for society nor the claimed transgendered themselves.

And there are studies and other things that support that assertion–plus transgenderism goes against the word of God:

5 A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God. (Deuteronomy 22:5)

The Bible clearly condemns cross-dressing. The Bible also condemns males acting effeminate:

9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, KJV)

Transgenderism is a moral and mental problem.

And the fact is that those identifying as transgendered have been found to have more mental health problems than others.

Yet many claimed experts push it and other aspects of the LGBTQ+ agenda.

Let's go through something else that the Apostle Paul wrote:

17 For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.” (Romans 1:17)

Yes, we as Christian parents must have faith in God and His word, not the world's claimed experts. The Apostle Paul continued with:

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, (Romans 1:18)

They censor the truth, use shadow-banning to make the truth harder to find, they attack authors of scientific studies that they do not want to hear the truth from, etc. Let's skip to verse 21:

21 they ... became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools,

Notice that they profess to be experts, but are fools.

Let's skip to verse 24:

24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, (Romans 1:24)

How do they do so, well in addition to trying to recruit children into their perversions, continuing in Romans we read:

25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. (Romans 1:25)

They basically declare that they know more than the Creator God of the Bible.

The Apostle Paul continued with:

26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. (Romans 1:26-27)

So, homosexuality is the result of exchanging the truth of God for a lie.

The Apostle Paul continued with:

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, (Romans 1:28-30)

As far as inventors of evil things go, the falsely claimed "gender-affirming" therapies and treatments are evil and opposed to the true gender. There are

31[o]undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, [p]unforgiving, unmerciful; 32who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

Do not believe claimed experts over the word of God.

6. Parents, Friends, and Social Media

The Book of Proverbs teaches:

17 As iron sharpens iron, So one person sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17; NASB)

Notice the following:

Teens more likely to be mentally healthy if they have conservative parents, study says

December 9, 2023

A new study reveals what would be a big ho-hum for conservatives, but might be revelatory for others: that teens with conservative parents are likely to be more health mentally.

My colleagues and I at Gallup launched a study this summer to understand the causes. We surveyed 6,643 parents, including 2,956 who live with an adolescent, and we surveyed an additional 1,580 of those adolescents. We asked about mental health, visits to doctors, parenting practices, family relationships, activities, personality traits, attitudes toward marriage, and other topics, including excessive social media use, as discussed in prior work. I present the results in a new Institute for Family Studies and Gallup research brief.

The findings are clear. The most important factor in the mental health of adolescent children is the quality of the relationship with their caregivers. This, in turn, is strongly related to parenting practices—with the best results coming from warm, responsive, and rule-bound, disciplined parenting. The data also reveal the characteristics of parents who engage in best-practices and enjoy the highest quality relationships.

Further, the report specified, “Conservative and very conservative parents are the most likely to adopt the parenting practices associated with adolescent mental health.” …

It documented that there’s “no variation” in different economic situations, either.

“The results may be shocking to many highly educated Americans who were taught to believe that socioeconomic status dictates everything good in life. Income doesn’t buy better parenting, and more highly educated parents do not score better, either. Parenting style and relationship quality also do not meaningfully vary by race and ethnicity within our U.S. sample,” the report said.

It noted, pointedly, that there are “some parental characteristics” that do have an impact. https://www.wnd.com/2023/12/teens-likely-mentally-health-conservative-parents-study-says/

Well, this is not a surprise as “conservative” parents are more likely to accept aspects of the Bible or at least biblical morality than more “liberal” parents.

The study  comes from the Institute for Family Studies and Gallup, and a report authored by Jonathan Rothwell found, here is more from that directly:

Parenting Is the Key to Adolescent Mental Health

After a decade of surging adolescent mental health problems and suicide, the nation’s leading public health authorities have declared an emergency. Unfortunately, the solutions proposed by organizations like the CDC and the American Academy of Pediatrics—such as increased funding for diagnostic and psychiatric services—do not meet the challenge and ignore what are likely to be the most important causes. Adolescent biology hasn’t changed. …

When it comes to the quality of parenting practices and the quality of child-parent relationships, there is no variation by socioeconomic status. The results may be shocking to many highly educated Americans who were taught to believe that socioeconomic status dictates everything good in life. Income doesn’t buy better parenting, and more highly educated parents do not score better, either. Parenting style and relationship quality also do not meaningfully vary by race and ethnicity within our U.S. sample.

These results are not unique to the Gallup sample. In 1997 and 1998, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics collected summary data on adolescent parent-child relationships. My analysis of these data shows that parental income, wealth, and race/ethnicity don’t bear any relationship with the parenting measures predictive of the long-term well-being of children. Education explained less than 1% of the variation. …

Political ideology is one of the strongest predictors. Conservative and very conservative parents are the most likely to adopt the parenting practices associated with adolescent mental health. They are the most likely to effectively discipline their children, while also displaying affection and responding to their needs. Liberal parents score the lowest, even worse than very liberal parents, largely because they are the least likely to successfully discipline their children. By contrast, conservative parents enjoy higher quality relationships with their children, characterized by fewer arguments, more warmth, and a stronger bond, according to both parent and child reporting.

Aside from political ideology, parents who think highly of marriage—by disagreeing that it is an outdated institution and agreeing that it improves the quality of relationships by strengthening commitment—exhibit better parenting practices and have a higher quality relationship with their teens. Parents who wish for their own children to get married someday also tend to be more effective parents. Those who embrace a pro-marriage view on all three have the best outcomes. 11/30/23 https://ifstudies.org/blog/parenting-is-the-key-to-adolescent-mental-health

There were no significant differences between Black, Hispanic, and White parents. Married scored higher than other parents, but the differences are only significant in comparison to divorced parents and the gap is small. …

Parental political ideology is another strong predictor of parenting style. Liberal parents had the lowest scores, meaning they were the least likely to endorse items indicating warm, disciplined parenting. Just 40% of liberal parents scored above average on the index, whereas 71% of very conservative parents and 56% of conservative parents did. Very liberal parents score roughly the same as moderate parents (48% and 49%, respectively).

Disciplinary action shows the largest political divide. For example, 80% of very conservative parents disagreed with the statement “my child often gets their way when we have a conflict” compared to 66% of conservative parents, 64% of moderate parents, 53% of liberal parents, and 55% of very liberal parents. Very conservative parents are also somewhat more likely to report giving their child hugs and kisses every day. Generally speaking, political conservatism is associated with more responsive and discipline-oriented parenting, or what the child development literature would characterize as an “authoritative” style, in contrast to permissive or authoritarian styles. This relationship between conservativism and parenting remains significant even after controlling for an extensive list of parental demographic and socio-economic measures. https://ifstudies.org/ifs-admin/resources/briefs/ifs-gallup-parentingteenmentalhealthnov2023.pdf accessed 12/09/23

“Liberal” parents would be more supportive of more aspects of the LGBTQ+ agenda than conservative ones.

Consider also the following::

The Conspiracy Against Normality

July 8, 2023

Do your country a favor and ask yourself why the US corporate and financial world have organized to force straight Americans to celebrate sexual perversity for ONE MONTH?  Why do corporate executives and boards think we should be proud of sexual perversity?  Who organized this campaign against normality?  Why did corporate executives and boards put the self-serving interest of sexual perverts ahead of the interests of their stockholders and their own performance bonuses? Why aren’t we instead celebrating normality? …

Clearly there is a well-organized conspiracy in the Western world against normality, a conspiracy dedicated to constructing a Sodom & Gomorrah.  Who is behind this?  Why are leading corporations participating in this effort to overthrow the traditional family, parental authority, traditional morality, and traditional society?  Who gains from this idiocy.  Why are Western peoples tolerating this blatant conspiracy against them?  Why do they drink Anheuser-Busch beer, shop at Target, bank with woke financial institutions?  Are Western peoples so insouciant that they have no idea what is happening, or do they just not care? https://www.sgtreport.com/2023/07/the-conspiracy-against-normality/

Who gains?

Satan.

Here's some additional info related to behviour and parenting.

December 12, 2023

Citing statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the APA wrote, “In the 10 years leading up to the pandemic, feelings of persistent sadness and hopelessness—as well as suicidal thoughts and behaviors—increased by about 40% among young people.”

There are many factors that have played a part in this increasing depression among America’s youth, but one of the primary ones that is agreed upon across the board is family disruption—particularly through divorce—and the lack of connection with parents. Unfortunately, academic studies often just demand more funding for adolescent mental health services, while never addressing the root cause of the problem: family breakdown and the need for children to have proper boundaries governing their lives.

Last month, the Institute for Family Studies issued an interesting report that provides further proof of the important role parents play in their child’s mental health. Jonathan Rothwell, who works for Gallup and is the author of the report, writes: “The most important factor in the mental health of adolescent children is the quality of the relationship with their caregivers. This, in turn, is strongly related to parenting practices—with the best results coming from warm, responsive, and rule-bound, disciplined parenting.” ...

Despite what the culture says, teenagers want a strong, loving relationship with their parents, and a relationship that provides the guardrails they need to successfully navigate the minefields of adolescence. Secondly, “the kids aren't alright” when their parents aren’t either. No amount of money or any government program can heal a troubled heart.

If values are “caught” and not “taught,” as it has been said, so is happiness and security. And it's conservative homes, with their strong emphasis on the importance of faith and familial ties, that allow adolescents to prosper. That is an important reminder to us all if we want to solve the teenage mental health crisis that our nation presently faces. https://www.zerohedge.com/political/better-parents-equals-healthier-teens

Yes, proper parenting can greatly aid in a teenager's mental health.

Notice also the following:

20 One who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm. (Proverbs 13:20, NASB)

And while that includes parents, it also is warning about being around people, who might be friends, that are fools. You and your children are at risk of harm being around certain people--yes, it does tend to "rub off."

The Bible is not just warning against thieves like we read about in the first chapter of the Book of Proverbs. Notice something else from Proverbs:

24 There are friends that one hath to his own hurt; (Proverbs 18:24 JPS)

24 Do not make friends with a person given to anger, Or go with a hot-tempered person, 25 Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself. (Proverbs 22:24-25, NASB)

The Bible clearly shows that the attitude of friends can hurt you.

That portion of Proverbs continues with:

26 Do not be among those who shake hands, Among those who become guarantors for debts. 27 If you have nothing with which to repay, Why should he take your bed from under you? (Proverbs 22:26-27, NASB)

What does that mean?

It is a warning to be careful what you promise someone. Since your child is supposed to keep his/her word, your child needs to be careful to NOT promise to do things that they do not fully understand--which is what happens to many who have agreed to do something for someone who was not the reliable type of person many thought that they were.

The New Testament also warns:

33 Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

The above is true for adults and teens--yet many allow themselves to be deceived.

Teach your teen that there are teens and adults who want your child to take drugs, have premarital sex, and do many things which are harmful for them--even if they act friendly.

The Book of Proverbs also teaches:

26 The righteous should choose his friends carefully, For the way of the wicked leads them astray. (Proverbs 12:26)

Christians can be friends with non-Christians. But if you discover that being around this person or having this person in your life is causing you to act or behave in an ungodly or unholy fashion, then it may be time to let that friend go. 

With friends, sometimes it is necessary to put them into different categories. Some are close. There are other you can still be friends with, but you may have to be friends from a distance. In my case, that tis the reality of the friends I had when I was in the military.

That said, parents need to understand that they will not be able to control everyone their children will want to be friends with. That is one reason that parents need to teach them about the influence of others.

The Book of Proverbs also teaches:

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6).

Now "old" might mean as a teenager or perhaps as a young adult.

Many males learn too late about why they should avoid drunkeness. Whereas many females learn too late that their boyfriends are often very quick to leave them, even if their girlfriends become pregnant or have their children. This happens generation after generation, yet most it happens to do not believe this could happen to them.

It has been said that Satan the devil is not much of an original thinker, because he has seen that humans have the same frailties and rely to much on their vanity and feelings to avoid the problems others have. Satan wants you to believe "it couldn't happen to me" or "it won't happen to me," yet it happens to the young over and over again.

That said, in this generation we also have to contend with social media and the internet. While the internet if very useful in many ways, which more and more studies say much online social media hurt a teen's self-esteem. This is particularly true for female teen's who cannot compete with the false body images and other suggested influences many promote.

A US Surgeon General report in 2023 states:

Over the last decade, evidence has emerged identifying reasons for concern about the potential negative impact of social media on children and adolescents. A longitudinal cohort study of U.S. adolescents aged 12–15 (n=6,595) that adjusted for baseline mental health status found that adolescents who spent more than 3 hours per day on social media faced double the risk of experiencing poor mental health outcomes including symptoms of depression and anxiety. ...

As of 2021, 8th and 10th graders now spend an average of 3.5 hours per day on social media. In a unique natural experiment that leveraged the staggered introduction of a social media platform across U.S. colleges, the roll-out of the platform was associated with an increase in depression (9% over baseline) and anxiety (12% over baseline) among college-aged youth (n = 359,827 observations). The study’s co-author also noted that when applied across the entirety of the U.S. college population, the introduction of the social media platform may have contributed to more than 300,000 new cases of depression.

If such sizable effects occurred in college-aged youth, these findings raise serious concerns about the risk of harm from social media exposure for children and adolescents who are at a more vulnerable stage of brain development. 33 32 32 31 Limits on the use of social media have resulted in mental health benefits for young adults and adults. A small, randomized controlled trial in college-aged youth found that limiting social media use to 30 minutes daily over three weeks led to significant improvements in depression severity. This effect was particularly large for those with high baseline levels of depression who saw an improvement in depression scores by more than 35%.

Another randomized controlled trial among young adults and adults found that deactivation of a social media platform for four weeks improved subjective well-being (i.e., self-reported happiness, life satisfaction, depression, and anxiety) by about 25–40% of the effect of psychological interventions like self-help therapy, group training, and individual therapy.36 35 34 In addition to these recent studies, correlational research on associations between social media use and mental health has indicated reason for concern and further investigation.

These studies point to a higher relative concern of harm in adolescent girls and those already experiencing poor mental health, , as well as for particular health outcomes like cyberbullying-related depression, body image and disordered eating behaviors, and poor sleep quality linked to social media use. For example, a study conducted among 14-year-olds (n = 10,904) found that greater social media use predicted poor sleep, online harassment, poor body image, low self-esteem, and higher depressive symptom scores with a larger association for girls than boys. A majority of parents of adolescents say they are somewhat, very, or extremely worried that their child’s use of social media could lead to problems with anxiety or depression (53%), lower self-esteem (54%), being harassed or bullied by others (54%), feeling pressured to act a certain way (59%), and exposure to explicit content (71%). www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/sg-youth-mental-health-social-media-advisory.pdf accessed 12/13/23

Notice also something from the American Psychological Association:

In 2023, an estimated 4.9 billion people worldwide are expected to use social media. For teens who grew up with technology, those digital platforms are woven into the fabric of their lives. “Social media is here to stay,” said Mary Alvord, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Maryland and adjunct professor at George Washington University, and a member of the APA panel. That doesn’t mean we have to accept its dangers, however. “Just as we decide when kids are old enough to drive, and we teach them to be good drivers, we can establish guidelines and teach children to use social media safely,” Alvord said. ...

Young people may be particularly vulnerable to social media’s charms—as well as its harms. During adolescent development, brain regions associated with the desire for attention, feedback, and reinforcement from peers become more sensitive. Meanwhile, the brain regions involved in self-control have not fully matured. That can be a recipe for disaster. “The need to prioritize peers is a normal part of adolescent development, and youth are turning to social media for some of that longed-for peer contact,” said clinical psychologist Mary Ann McCabe, PhD, ABPP, a member-at-large of APA’s Board of Directors, adjunct associate professor of pediatrics at George Washington University School of Medicine, and cochair of the expert advisory panel. “The original yearning is social, but kids can accidentally wander into harmful content.”

The potential risks of social media may be especially acute during early adolescence when puberty delivers an onslaught of biological, psychological, and social changes. One longitudinal analysis of data from youth in the United Kingdom found distinct developmental windows during which adolescents are especially sensitive to social media’s impact. During those windows—around 11 to 13 for girls and 14 to 15 for boys—more social media use predicts a decrease in life satisfaction a year later, while lower use predicts greater life satisfaction (Orben, A., et al., Nature Communications, Vol. 13, No. 1649, 2022). ...

Research suggests that setting limits and boundaries around social media, combined with discussion and coaching from adults, is the best way to promote positive outcomes for youth (Wachs, S., et al., Computers & Education, Vol. 160, No. 1, 2021). Parents should talk to kids often about social media and technology and also use strategies like limiting the amount of time kids can use devices and removing devices from the bedroom at night. ...

Spending too much time on social media is one cause for concern. Dangerous content is another. Despite efforts by caregivers and tech companies to protect kids from problematic material, they still encounter plenty of it online—including mis- and disinformation, racism and hate speech, and content that promotes dangerous behaviors such as disordered eating and self-harm. 09/01/23 https://www.apa.org/monitor/2023/09/protecting-teens-on-social-media

Yes, one of the things you need to talk to your children about is social media. This does not mean that it should be totally prohibited, but you should see if you can negotiate acceptable limits with your children. Explain to them the scientific risk of being too involved with it.

Notice also something from the government of the UK:

What are 5 dangers of social media?
Using social media
  • cyberbullying (bullying using digital technology)
  • invasion of privacy.
  • identity theft.
  • your child seeing offensive images and messages.
  • the presence of strangers who may be there to 'groom' other members. https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/social-media-online-gaming-and-keeping-children-safe-online accessed 02/29/24

Yes, there are people who want to set your child up for destruction--they do not care.

I once knew someone who often misled young women--his stated attitude was, "If they are dumb enough to believe it, they deserve it." Yes, that is cruel, but yes that is how many view women, girls, or others that an abuse or take advantage of.

Anyway, social media is a real problem in this age.

Furthermore, let them know that so-called Artificial Intelligence is often biased against not only the Bible, but other truth. Warn them that it can be deceptive. I, personally, often receive wrong and/or improperly biased answers when I have used it In case of a conflict:

20 Turn away from godless chatter and the opposing ideas of what is falsely called knowledge (1 Timothy 6:20, NIV)

4 Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar.  (Romans 3:4)

Try to encourage your teens to have actitivies other than being online as you can. This will help them as well as their relationship with you.

All that being said, one issue that seemed to happen to young women in the old Worldwide Church of God is that some became rebellious and others, though not as outwardly rebellious, would marry men that they knew were severely flawed but thought that they would be able to change. That rarely was the case.

So, often, after 3-10 years of that, they would come back to the WCG somewhat down and defeated. It has been said that experience is the best of all teachers, and while that may not quite be the case, the reality is that we are better off learning from the failed experiences of others so we are less likely to repeat the errors ourselves. Satan, of course, wants you to think that such cannot happen to you.

The history of humanity is strewn with single mothers, drug-addicted people, and other severely harmed people. You and your children need to strive not to imitate them by following in ways contrary to the Bible.

7. Two-Parents Help Children NOT to Become Criminals or Become Impoverished, But at leaast be a Christian Parent

A sixth rule could be, if possible, raise the child with both parents--particularly if they share the same basic morals.

Of course, because of death, abandonment, divorce, religious differences, addictions, violence, etc. that is not always possible

Notice some research about children becoming not becoming criminals or impoverished:

The Biggest Root Cause of Crime Is Fatherlessness

December 12, 2023

Children are likelier to finish high school and stay out of trouble if they’re brought up by two parents.

A decade ago, New York City launched a campaign to combat teen pregnancy. It featured ads on buses and subway cars that read: “If you finish high school, get a job, and get married before having children, you have a 98% chance of not being in poverty.”

That advice, more popularly known as the “success sequence,” is often credited to research done by Brookings Institution scholars Isabel Sawhill and Ron Haskins, though others have made similar observations. ...

The effort nevertheless faced significant backlash from detractors who accused then-Mayor Michael Bloomberg of stigmatizing teen pregnancy and pushing a “moralistic, conservative agenda to revitalize marriage,” Mr. Rowe writes. Mr. Bloomberg’s successor, Bill de Blasio, ultimately abandoned the effort. Public moralizing has since fallen further out of favor and been replaced by a kind of self-congratulatory nonjudgmentalism. ...

We could use more of that moralizing from public officials, whether the issue is solo parenting, substance abuse or crime. The success sequence works to keep people not only off the dole but also out of trouble with the law. High-school graduates and children raised by both parents are much less likely to end up in jail.  “Virtually every major social pathology,” political scientist Stephen Baskerville writes, “has been linked to fatherless children: violent crime, drug and alcohol abuse, truancy, unwed pregnancy, suicide, and psychological disorders—all correlating more strongly with fatherlessness than with any other single factor, surpassing even race and poverty.”

America’s crime debate tends to focus on so-called root causes, such as joblessness. But it’s worth remembering that the sharpest increase in violent crime began in the 1960s, a decade that saw low unemployment, strong economic growth and a doubling of black household incomes. As notable, labor-force participation rates of young black men fell during the 1980s and ’90s, one of the longest periods of sustained economic growth in U.S. history.

A new academic paper from the Institute for Family Studies doesn’t deny that economic conditions play a role in criminal behavior. And co-authors Rafael Mangual, Brad Wilcox, Joseph Price and Seth Cannon write that “changes in law-enforcement and the prosecution of criminals have also had a hand in the recent uptick in violent crime in American cities.” The paper’s main argument, however, is that family instability may be the biggest factor of all and that it’s not receiving the attention it deserves.

“Cities are safer when two-parent families are dominant and more crime-ridden when family instability is common,” the authors write. Nationwide, the total crime rate is about 48% higher in cities “that have above the median share of single-parent families, compared to cities that have fewer single-parent families.” Even when controlling for variables such as race, income and educational attainment, “the association between family structure and total crime rates, as well as violent crime rates, in cities across the United States remains statistically significant.”

Having a father around, the authors note, is about more than an additional paycheck. Fathers teach their sons responsibility, self-control, how to carry themselves, how to treat women. They tend to be more effective disciplinarians, and their involvement in childrearing is linked to positive outcomes in the academic development of their children, “especially in mathematics and verbal skills.” That finding “has been established for both sons and daughters but, unsurprisingly, it is especially pronounced among boys. The presence of married fathers is also protective against school suspensions and expulsions, as well as the risk of dropping out of high school.” ...

We all know single mothers—some of us even may be related to them—who heroically beat these odds and raised children that have gone on to lead productive lives. The public-policy goal should be to reduce the number of people who will have to face those odds. And that means calling out behavior that is objectively harmful to people and society in general. https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-biggest-root-cause-of-crime-is-fatherlessness-single-motherhood-5cdfe763?st=h78ad0vcy6peyem&mod=googlenewsfeed

Yes, biblical moral principles are good for children as well as society.

Yet, many in 21st century society wish to pretend otherwise.

Notice the Bible tells children to obey their parents and to avoid getting involved with criminals and the immoral:

8 My son, hear the instruction of your father,And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head,And chains about your neck.

10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, "Come with us,Let us lie in wait to shed blood;Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, And whole, like those who go down to the Pit; 13 We shall find all kinds of precious possessions,We shall fill our houses with spoil; 14 Cast in your lot among us,Let us all have one purse" — 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them,Keep your foot from their path; 16 For their feet run to evil,And they make haste to shed blood. 17 Surely, in vain the net is spreadIn the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood,They lurk secretly for their own lives. 19 So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain;It takes away the life of its owners. (Proverbs 1:8-19)

20 My son, keep your father's command,
And do not forsake the law of your mother.
21 Bind them continually upon your heart;
Tie them around your neck.
22 When you roam, they will lead you;
When you sleep, they will keep you;
And when you awake, they will speak with you.
23 For the commandment is a lamp,
And the law a light;
Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
24 To keep you from the evil woman,
From the flattering tongue of a seductress. (Proverbs 6:20-24)

Yes, children should be warned about physical and spirtual dangers.

Yet, God does consider your child/children holy if you are a true Christian, whether or not you have a spouse who is or who lives with you. The Apostle Paul wrote:

12 ... If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.(1 Corinthians 7:12-15)

So, yes, while one Christian parent is enough--otherwise verse 15 would not say what it says, generally speaking two parents are--or at least should be--better.

So, all should be Christian parents, but if there is at least one, that is enough, though not usually optimal.

8. Pray and Trust God 

A seventh rule would be to pray if you do not know what to do.

Remember the Old Testament teaches:

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your flesh,
And strength to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8)

Consider that in conjuction with the following:

1 A wise son makes a glad father,
But a foolish son is the grief of his mother. (Proverbs 10:1)

You will be happier and have less grief if you trust God and raise your children God's way. Trust God.

At risk of repeat, let's look at something that the Apostle Paul wrote again:

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

One way not to provoke children to wrath is to wait before disciplining them or until the parent and/or the child has calmed down.

So yes, even as a parent, sometimes you will have to wait.

Sometimes, decisions on discipline and conversations need to be delayed or implemented in steps.

You can also involve your child in the process by asking what they want as well as how they think they should be punished for misbehavior.

You, as a parent, can do that as well as get through the process.

But, if you pray and trust God, remember the New Testament teaches:

13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)

So can you if you ask Jesus for help--but you really have to mean it when you ask as you might get an answer that you perhaps do not want to receive.

Or that the answer might get delayed.

But do not give up your trust in God.

9. Give Your Children Prophetic Hope

While you may see how perverse this generation is, if you explain that to your children they may get discouraged.

Instead help them understand the real hope that a better world is coming.

A world that will have no war nor poverty.

A world where there will be no theft, rape, or governmental lying.

A world that they will be able to help build and prosper in.

Explain to them the good news of the coming kingdom of God.

Hope is one of the strongest and most powerful emotions.

Hope is stronger than fear and other tools that Satan and his followers on the earth employ (cf. Ephesians 6:11-17; 1 John 4:18).

The Bible teaches that while "others have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13), Christians do have hope (Hebrews 3:6) and should be comforted by that (1 Thessalonians 4:18, 5:8).

When your children arise each day, they should not dread it, but look forward with hope to the opportunity to give and grow in character, grace, love, and knowledge (2 Peter 3:18; 1 Peter 2:2; Ephesians 2:19-22; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; Romans 5:1-5)

The Psalmist declared:

147 I rise before the dawning of the morning, And cry for help; I hope in Your word.  (Psalm 119:147)

We as Christian parents should not be discouraged, but ask God for help while we hope in His word. But so should our children.

We, whether young or old, are able through Jesus to repent of various sins and bad habits (1 Corinthians 10:13). The Bible says we “can do all things through Christ who strengthens” (Philippians 4:13) us.

Your children should have hope!

Notice the following:

4 Deliver me, O my God, out of the hand of the wicked,
Out of the hand of the unrighteous and cruel man.
5 For You are my hope, O Lord God;
You are my trust from my youth. (Psalm 71:4-5)

The psalmist could only have hope from his youth if someone helped their child have hope.

As a parent, that is part of your job.

Biblical prophecies offer hope!

18 Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law. (Proverbs 29:18, KJV)

18 Where there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but blessed is he who keeps the law. (Proverbs 29:18, ESV)

So, yes, in addition to teaching children God's law, you should also teach them about the glorious future God's word prophesies.

And that includes prophecies related to Jesus, as scriptyre teaches:

10 Worship God! For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy. (Revelation 19:10)

Your children should worship God with you and observe God's festivals, including going to the Feast of Tabernacle (Deuteronomy 14:22-26), where they should here good news of the prophesied kingdom of God.

Now the Apostle Paul, quoting from Isaiah's writings, wrote:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Yes, God's plan for you and children who will accept His ways is better than we humans can imagine.

In the millennial kingdom, Satan will be gone and proper government installed:

1 Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, having the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain in his hand. 2 He laid hold of the dragon, that serpent of old, who is the Devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years; 3 and he cast him into the bottomless pit, and shut him up, and set a seal on him, so that he should deceive the nations no more till the thousand years were finished. But after these things he must be released for a little while. 4 And I saw thrones, and they sat on them, and judgment was committed to them. Then I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their witness to Jesus and for the word of God, who had not worshiped the beast or his image, and had not received his mark on their foreheads or on their hands. And they lived and reigned with Christ for a thousand years. (Revelation 20:1-4) 

Here are some of the things the prophet Isaiah wrote about the millennial Kingdom of God which, as Revelation 20 shows, lasts 1,000 years:

1 There shall come forth a Rod from the stem of Jesse, And a Branch shall grow out of his roots. 2 The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him, The Spirit of wisdom and understanding, The Spirit of counsel and might, The Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord. 3 His delight is in the fear of the Lord, And He shall not judge by the sight of His eyes, Nor decide by the hearing of His ears; 4 But with righteousness He shall judge the poor, And decide with equity for the meek of the earth; He shall strike the earth with the rod of His mouth, And with the breath of His lips He shall slay the wicked. 5 Righteousness shall be the belt of His loins, And faithfulness the belt of His waist. 6 "The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, The leopard shall lie down with the young goat, The calf and the young lion and the fatling together; And a little child shall lead them. 7 The cow and the bear shall graze; Their young ones shall lie down together; And the lion shall eat straw like the ox. 8 The nursing child shall play by the cobra's hole, And the weaned child shall put his hand in the viper's den. 9 They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain, For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the Lord As the waters cover the sea. 10 "And in that day there shall be a Root of Jesse, Who shall stand as a banner to the people; For the Gentiles shall seek Him, And His resting place shall be glorious." (Isaiah 11:1-10).

7 Of the increase of His government and peace There will be no end, Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom, To order it and establish it with judgment and justice From that time forward, even forever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this. (Isaiah 9:7)

1 The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them, And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose; 2 It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice, Even with joy and singing.The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it, The excellence of Carmel and Sharon. They shall see the glory of the LORD, The excellency of our God. 3 Strengthen the weak hands, And make firm the feeble knees. 4 Say to those who are fearful-hearted,"Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, With the recompense of God; He will come and save you." 5 Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, And the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped. 6 Then the lame shall leap like a deer, And the tongue of the dumb sing. For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, And streams in the desert. 7 The parched ground shall become a pool, And the thirsty land springs of water; In the habitation of jackals, where each lay, There shall be grass with reeds and rushes. 8 A highway shall be there, and a road, And it shall be called the Highway of Holiness. The unclean shall not pass over it, But it shall be for others. Whoever walks the road, although a fool, Shall not go astray. 9 No lion shall be there, Nor shall any ravenous beast go up on it; It shall not be found there. But the redeemed shall walk there, 10 And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, And come to Zion with singing, With everlasting joy on their heads. They shall obtain joy and gladness, And sorrow and sighing shall flee away. (Isaiah 35:1-9)

The Book of Isaiah makes it clear that there will be a physical reign on earth, with the Messiah in charge, and people will not be allowed to hurt others. 

The Prophet Micah was inspired to write:

1 Now it shall come to pass in the latter days That the mountain of the Lord's house Shall be established on the top of the mountains, And shall be exalted above the hills; And peoples shall flow to it. 2 Many nations shall come and say, "Come, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, To the house of the God of Jacob; He will teach us His ways, And we shall walk in His paths." For out of Zion the law shall go forth, And the word of the Lord from Jerusalem. 3 He shall judge between many peoples, And rebuke strong nations afar off; They shall beat their swords into plowshares, And their spears into pruning hooks; Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, Neither shall they learn war anymore. 4 But everyone shall sit under his vine and under his fig tree, And no one shall make them afraid; For the mouth of the Lord of hosts has spoken. (Micah 4:1-4)

Both humans and animals will do better during this time. The New Testament confirms that the whole creation will benefit during this time:

19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God (Romans 8:19-21).

The time of the "glorious liberty of the children of God" that the Apostle Paul is speaking of, happens at the return of Jesus Christ and the establishment of His kingdom.

And this is a time when the people of God will be used to help restore a damaged planet:

12 Those from among you
Shall build the old waste places;
You shall raise up the foundations of many generations;
And you shall be called the Repairer of the Breach,
The Restorer of Streets to Dwell In (Isaiah 58:12)

Thus, the people of God will make it easier for people to dwell in cities (and elsewhere) during this time of restoration. The world will truly be a better place. Your children who live into the millennium will help rebuild a basically destroyed earth--they will help implement physical aspects of the millennial Kingdom of God.

Now, some parents have improperly discouraged their children from wanting to pursue legitimate career and/or academic goals. Do not be like that. Furthermore, if you child says they do not need to go to school or need to have a career because Jesus will return, remind them that Jesus said His followers should be busy working until He comes (cf. Matthew 24:46). Plus, even if Jesus does come soon, they will be able to use their skills to help others in the millennial kingdom. So, yes, your children should be prepared to work in this age, and if Jesus comes when they are alive, into the millennial kingdom of God.

Now that said, here are some of the things the Bible tells us about the permanent Kingdom of God which comes about 100 years after the millennium and lasts forever:

1 Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. 2 Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” 5 Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” 6 And He said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. 7 He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son. (Revelation 21:1-7)

Your child has the potential to inherit ALL THINGS. Your child can inherit the universe.

What a fantastic hope.

10. Yes, They Can Have Hopes and Dreams

While as parents you may have massive hope and confidence in the coming kingdom of God and your child might accept that, we are all physical.

Remember that the Apostle John started a letter to the church off with:

2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (1 John 3:2)

To prosper in all things includes being a success physically as does the comment about health.

Yes, your children can have hopes and dreams, whether or not the kingdom God comes in their lifetimes.

You should ask them about their hopes, dreams, and concerns.

Yes, they can and should plan a career.

Your child probably does not want to be poor, drugged out of reality, or jailed.

But, understand, that not all children are equally ambitious, and may not want for themselves the type of career, etc. you want for them.

Remember Jesus said:

31 And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. (Luke 6:31)

Just like you probably did not want you parents to force you into a career they chose or wanted, your children probably do not want you to do that either.

Your child probably wants to lead a successful life.

We have put out articles and sermons on success:

The Seven Laws of Success by Herbert W. Armstrong and Bob Thiel: What Does the Bible Teach? Herbert W. Armstrong had seven laws that he felt could help people become successful. Do scriptures support them? Here are links to three related sermons: Three Scriptural Laws of SuccessJesus and Guaranteed Success, and Rely on God for Real Success.

Christian Success Does the Bible teach that Christians are to be successful? Are there at least seven laws of success that Christians should follow? How does the Bible teach we are to become successfully spiritually? Does the Bible really teach that Christians should be successful physically? This video answers these questions and more from the Bible. An outline of some of the scriptures used is here: Christian Success Outline.

Furthermore, yes, tell your children that people will be getting married in the millennial kingdom.

So, yes, your children do not have to eliminate the hope of marriage in this age or the millennial one.

Assure your children they can lead a successful life.

Remind your children that they can have a successful life if they will strive to live God's way.

Concluding Comments on Rules for Effective Parenting

This article touched on ten points to be an effective parent:

  1. First, spend time with your children. Have fun with them.
  2. Second, do not lie to them--ever.
  3. Third, do not live like a hypocrite.
  4. Fourth, you need to teach children about God and His laws (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), which also gives them boundaries.
  5. Fifth, do not be afraid to provide proper discipline.
  6. Consider influence from parents, friends, and social media.
  7. A two-parent household is normally better than one, but at least have one Christian parent.
  8. Pray, be patient, and trust God.
  9. Give your children prophetic hope.
  10. Yes, they can have hopes and dreams.

While parenting is challenging, theese rules of effective parenting should ultimately make your job easier. Plus make your children's live better!

Remember to spend time with your children, do not lie to them do not live like a hypocrite, teach children about God and His laws (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), and do not be afraid to provide proper discipline.

If you are a Christian and live your life as one and spend time with your children, many child rearing problems that others face will not likely affect you. This does not mean that you will never have any problems or that your children may never rebel, but if you follow what the Bible shows for each of the ten points, you will go a long way in being a more effective parent and doing a biblically-proper job of child rearing.

You can implement biblical principles to encourage successful child rearing.

Your children will do better if you and hopefully the other parent, try to raise your children God's way.

When you do encounter unexpected problems, do not forget to study your Bible, pray, and sometimes counsel with others for assistance.

Be involved with your chidren. Do things God's way and you will greatly improve the chances of your children being raised successfully as well as being able to live successfully on their own.

When it comes to everything, including child rearing, trust God over human experts who do not.

Thiel B. Five rules for effective parenting. www.cogwriter.com/five-rules-for-effective-parenting.htm 2013/2014/2015 /2023 /2024 0302

Two items of related interest may include:

What Psychologists do not Know About Child Rearing This is an article by Herbert Armstrong that was used as the introduction to the pdf booklet The Plain Truth About Child Rearing.
The Plain Truth About Child Rearing This is a pdf booklet that the old WCG put out.

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