By COGwriter
In about 61 A.D., while in prison in Rome, Paul wrote this book to intercede with Philemon to forgive Onesimus, the runaway slave. Letter is an example of courtesy, tact, delicacy and generosity
Philemon
1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,
So, Paul is still a prison when he wrote this and Timothy is with him.
Continuing:
1b To Philemon our beloved friend and fellow laborer, 2 to the beloved Apphia, Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church in your house:
So, Philemon was a friend of Paul and held church services in his house.
It was very common to have church in people's homes.
And until probably 80 A.D. or so there were no actual church buildings in Jerusalem and maybe nowhere else.
So, for the first several decades of the church era, church services were in homes.
What about synagogues?
While they sometimes allowed Christians to speak, they still had what we would call Jewish services.
Next verse:
3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Paul uses the expression "grace to you" ten times in his scriptural writings. Notice he also mentions peace rom God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, which is something all Christians should experience.
Next verses:
4 I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers, 5 hearing of your love and faith which you have toward the Lord Jesus and toward all the saints, 6 that the sharing of your faith may become effective by the acknowledgment of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. 7 For we have great joy and consolation in your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed by you, brother.
So, Paul tells Philemon that he is grateful for all that Philemon does and pointed out some of that. While that was true, in modern terms you might say that Paul was buttering him up.
Related to the above the late evangelist Leon Walker said in a 1977 sermon titled Encouragement:
God encourages us. He doesn't always chastise and beat us down. Obviously we learn from the mistakes we make. ... Because it indicates the attitude of the apostle Paul, I think an attitude that we can have too. And looking to other individuals and what we expect from them. In the book of Philemon. The book of Philemon and Paul is requesting and asking something from this individual. He wants him to do something which could have been very difficult, even financially a bit of a problem, to release a slave, a slave who had run away. Paul, I'm sure could have used his authority as an apostle of God, but he didn't do that. On the other hand, he was not of the attitude, "Well, I don't know what Philemon is going to do. I'm not so sure he will obey me."
Notice the apostle Paul's approach, and I would like to see more of us have this approach toward our children, to our family, and one to another. In Philemon verse 4. "I thank my God, making mention of you always in my prayers, hearing of your love and faith which you have for the Lord Jesus and toward all saints." So notice that, that he doesn't have the approach, "Well, I don't know about your logic, I don't know about your organization. I don't know about your hostility, this and that and the other." He only has praise. He only has compliments, not flattery, not lies, these are true statements. He says, "I know you have your love. I hear about it, your faith, which you have toward Christ and the saints, that the communication of your faith may, may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus."
It was there because of the spirit of God, but it still was in him. I think again that we should assume, basically in that sense, not to be gullible, not to be deceived, not to understand human nature, but on the other hand, to assume that the people who have the spirit of God are going to do the things that God's servants want them to, that God wants them to if approached in the right way. https://www.hwalibrary.com/cgi-bin/get/hwa.cgi?action=getsermon&InfoID=1414444048
Starting in verse 8, Paul tells Philemon that he wants what could be considered as an expensive favor:
8 Therefore, though I might be very bold in Christ to command you what is fitting, 9 yet for love's sake I rather appeal to you — being such a one as Paul, the aged, and now also a prisoner of Jesus Christ — 10 I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, whom I have begotten while in my chains, 11 who once was unprofitable to you, but now is profitable to you and to me.
12 I am sending him back. You therefore receive him, that is, my own heart, 13 whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. 14 But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.
15 For perhaps he departed for a while for this purpose, that you might receive him forever, 16 no longer as a slave but more than a slave — a beloved brother, especially to me but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
Onesimus had ran away. Now he came back and Paul wanted Philemon to free him. He wanted Philemon to consider that God may have a better plan for Onesimus than to remain his slave.
God probably always has better plans for us than we may physically think.
Before going further, reportedly, according to non-scriptural sources, Onesimus may have became an important church leader. Some have claimed that Onesimus, who is also mentioned in Colossians 4:9, was the "second bishop" in Ephesus after Timothy. Ignatius refers to Onesimus as a bishop of Ephesus (Ignatius. Letter to the Ephesians, Chapter 1)--but that one may not have not been the one mentioned in the Bible as there were at least five decades between Colossians and Ignatius' letter--though that is not impossible, so perhaps he was. Various among the Eastern Orthodox also list Onesimus in the succession for Constantinople (see Apostolic Succession)--perhaps there were two, three, or four of them. In Ephesus some have Onesimus followed by Gaius who Paul referred to as a host (Romans 16:25). Then later by the Apostle John.
Back to Paul's letter:
17 If then you count me as a partner, receive him as you would me. 18 But if he has wronged you or owes anything, put that on my account. 19 I, Paul, am writing with my own hand. I will repay -- not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self besides.
Paul is offering to pay for Onesimus' freedom, but is essentially asking Philemon to do it for free.
Paul again lays on some compliments:
20 Yes, brother, let me have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in the Lord. 21 Having confidence in your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.
It further encourage Philemon, Paul then writes:
22 But, meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I trust that through your prayers I shall be granted to you.
Paul then closes:
23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, 24 as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow laborers.
25 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.
Notice that closes again with the mention of grace and Jesus. And he closes with Amen.
Here is something from our free eBooklet Prayer: What Does the Bible Teach?:
Tip Number 28: Close with Amen
Jesus ended the prayer He gave in Matthew 6 with the term “Amen.” In the “Received text,” the Greek word is άμην, transliterated as into Latin characters as “amen” (anciently pronounced ah-min or ah-men). Nearly all the books of the New Testament end with the word “Amen.”
Some do not like the word “Amen.” Some claim it is pagan and that using it is calling out to, or praying to, an Egyptian sun-god.
However, “amen” stems from the Hebrew verb aman (anciently pronounced ah-main) meaning “to support, confirm, or rear up” (Harkavy, Students’ Hebrew and Chaldee Dictionary).
The Hebrew word aman (אמן) differs from the word for the Egyptian god Amon/Amun used in the Bible (ןואָמ). Yet, some falsely claim that saying “Amen” is actually a prayer to that pagan deity.
Amen itself means “truly” (Harkavy). Christians can say truly or verily if they wish (cf. Romans 14:23c), but most use the term “Amen.” Basically, the word אמן/άμην signifies that you believe and agree with what was stated before.
Christ often used this word in the New Testament. In the King James Version, άμην is often translated as “verily.”
Believe what you pray. Have the right attitude. Amen.
Anyway, the letter to Philemon is about tact, not abusing authority, and considering God's bigger plan over personal interests.